Norman Light in THE NEW NORM L
Walter Davis in JUST ADD WALTER
Welcome back to WILLIAMSON’S WAY! Brought to you by Face Facts Facials, Crust Toothpaste, and Pussykins Cat Food. This may be my own little world, but I do try to help people. Presenting another crazy assortment of ads, comedy, impressions, songs, and stories, including the sci-fi/classic pop cult spoof, “The New Norm L” and our trouble-in-Hawaii-paradise sitcom “Just Add Walter”.
Show Excerpt: Just Add Walter
Later that week found the secret couple cooped up in Walter’s cubicle. It was standard corporate stuff, just grey walls, grey table, and a couple of black chairs. There was a patch on one of the walls, from where Walter’s electric typewriter caught fire. He and Gin sat opposite each other with pens and legal pads, trying to be creative, but faltering a number of times, for largely personal reasons.
“Okay, okay, let’s focus,” grumbled Walter.
“I can’t believe you’re worried about that,” huffed Gin.
“We need an idea, Ginny,” he reminded her.
“Not THAT that,” explained Gin, “the OTHER that.”
“What’s the OTHER that?” asked Walter.
“The US that, of course,” explained Gin.
“We’ve gotta keep it down, Ginny. Lower our voices.”
“We can’t do that! We can’t speak in hushed voices the whole time! That’d be REALLY suspicious!”
“Okay, okay,” hissed Walter. “We’ll lower our voices when we’re talking about the ‘us that’, and we’ll raise our voices when we’re talking about the ‘other that’”.
“Okay,” agreed Gin. “So. What are you worried about?”
“Well, he looked at me so weirdly,” explained Walter, “and I didn’t want it to jinx us. We need these jobs.”
“I don’t mean the ‘us that’ Walter, I meant the ‘other that’”.
“Oh…” said Walter. “…Well, you confused me just then because you weren’t raising your voice.”
“Well DUH!” said Gin, but still in a whisper. “I didn’t raise my voice because I was laying the foundation for distinguishing between the ‘us that’ and the ‘other that’”.
“…Okay, okay, l’m sorry,” said Walter. “Let’s just talk about the ‘other that’ thing now. SO, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS?”
“YES, WALT. I think you should talk to him. WE SHOULD CALL IT CALMIN’ SENSE.”
“COMMON SENSE?” asked Walter, followed by, “Talk to him about what?”
“YES,” replied Gin, followed by, “You have no guts. YES, ONLY SPELLED DIFFERENTLY. C-L-A-M…”
“CLAM SENSE?” bellowed Walter, “WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I HAVE PLENTY OF THAT! I mean…I have plenty of guts! And clam sense? What does that mean? Some kind of beach-y thing?”
“Oh, no, sorry,” said Gin, “I meant…I mean, I MEANT CALMIN’, LIKE A PUN! CALMIN’ SENSE! C-A-L-M-I-N’!”
“OH YES, VERY GOOD IDEA! I do too have guts! I’m just protecting us!”
“Okay, but I don’t know why you don’t just get it out in the open.”
“I WILL BY THE END OF THE WEEK.”
“Will what?”
“YES! I’LL TALK TO HIM.”
“Who?” hissed Gin.
“WILL!” shouted Walter.
“YYYEEESSS?” called Will, from the next office.
“NOTHING! YET!” answered Walter.
“Walter,” said Gin.
“Later!” said Walter.
“All right,” said Gin, “so we’re agreed on the ‘us that’?”
“Yes. I’ll ask him later.”
“Not THAT ‘us that’, the OTHER ‘us that’!”
“The other us that what?”
“The other ‘us that’ campaign idea. THAT ‘us that’.”
“Oh…yes. I’ll get it all going.”
“Okay.” Gin stood up to go. “See you later.”
“Okay,” answered Walter. Then, remembering their code, “OKAY, THANKS!”
“YEP, BYE!”
“How do you do that?” whispered Walter, truly astonished.
“What?” asked Gin, innocently.
“No personal pronouns,” said Walter.
“I’m the definition of multi-tasking,” smiled Gin.
Featuring: “What News Spot”, “Face Facts Facials Spot”, “Storytelling – Just Add Walter, Part 2”, “Crust Toothpaste Spot”, “Dresser Drawer Song”, “The Beatles’s Diary”, “Sack Song”, “Johnny Carson’s Diary”, “Storytelling – The New Norm L, Part 2”, “Pussykins Cat Food Spot”, “It’s Not A Song Song”.